I live in a house made out of ticky tacky

For a relatively grassy and leafy place next to miles of white sand and beach, Long Island gets a lot of trash from 20 somethings for its suburban stereotypes. I live in Nassau, so from personal experience, I’ll answer some frequently asked questions.

1) Did you have Sweet Sixteens?

Yes, we did. Ranging from the spectacles you saw on MTV’s Super Sweet Sixteen to just renting out a room in a restaurant for close friends and family, it happened for most of the girls I knew. The tiaras, limos, and barechested-men-carrying-the-birthday-girl happened, as did the more sentimental moments, like sixteen candles for sixteen important people. Aw. We were mocktail connoisseurs by seventeen.

2) What are the locals generally up to?

Mall, beach, concerts, and carnivals. I hate carnival rides, so I just go to eat zeppolis. We also go to the city (NYC) and pretend to be natives there quite often.

3) Are zeppolis really delicious?

Yes.

4) Do the people from Supa Sweet Sixteen actually exist?

Now what are you really asking me, sir? Are Long Islanders materialistic? Answering in absolutes always means answering falsely. There is a pretty distinct Long Island style, and in junior high and high school, we went through phases. There was the Hot Topic stage, the Juicy Couture phase, the phase in which everyone wore Abercrombie and Hollister, the Tiffany’s phase, the phase in which everyone made bracelets out of the plastic ring that came out of the cap of Coke bottles, etc. I would label it a problem of conformity rather than a problem of spoiled materialism. Most people I knew worked part-time after school (tutoring, cashier jobs, etc.) to pay for what they wanted to buy, even if their families were affluent. If what we want to battle is conformity, pls look to San Antonio teens.

Do it Long Island teens! Neva congregate in front of Hollister again!

5) Was the Long Island Iced Tea really made in Long Island?

The Briad Group claims that T.G.I. Friday’s invented the Long Island Iced Tea, although wiki entries generally attribute the drink to a mysterious bartender working in the Hamptons. Well, since T.G.I. Friday’s was launched in New York City in 1965, and the Long Island Iced Tea supposedly originated sometime around the early 1970s, it’s very likely it was Long Island inspired. But those over twenty one beware: the Long Island Iced Tea doesn’t actually have any tea in it. It is named an iced tea simply for its appearance, and it is actually one part tequila, four parts more-liquor, mixed with coke, ice, and lots of something sour.

Why the FAQ? I’m staying in the suburbs for the summer, but no FMLs. I plan to keep myself busy.